Thank your for your parenting advice :-)

This past Saturday the Iowa Hawkeys played the Iowa State Cyclones.  Needless to say, it's a big game, especially for our Arizona family, the Bollards.  We all meet at a sports bar to cheer on our team.

We had so much fun cheering on our teams, and hanging out with the Bollards.  And best of all the Hawkeyes won the game!!!

When the game ended, I packed the kids up, said my goodbyes and left.  As I was leaving, a lady also walked out with me.  She turned to me and under her breathe mumbled, "What kind of mother takes her kids to a bar?"  I asked her to repeat herself because I assumed that I must have heard her incorrectly.  She then stated that "A bar is no place for a baby."  I started to walk away because confrontation is usually not my thing.  But the more I walked the madder I became.   I turned and thanked her for her parenting advice and asked if there was any other bits of wisdom she could bestow on me and my children since I appeared to be such a unfit mother.  She assured me that her advice about not having my kids in a bar was all she had.  At that point, I just couldn't let it go... I again told her how much I appreciated her advice and expressed how I was sure that her children had grown up perfect with such a wonderful mother.  And of course, she assured me they had.  At that point the only thing I could do was walk away, but as I did I said that I agreed with her, our children would grow up different... mine wouldn't grow up thinking they were better than everyone and with their nose in the air. 

As I drove home, I couldn't believe how mad her comments had made me.  I am usually not one that cares that much about what others think, especially people I don't know.  However, I obviously have a sensitive spot when you question my parenting.  I am not saying that I am a perfect mom, I question decisions that I make every single day.  I replay situations in my head as I fall to sleep, and I pray each morning that I will be a great mom because my kids deserve the very best.  But I do not believe that taking my children to a sports bar, to watch a Hawkeye game, on a Saturday afternoon makes me a bad mom.  I pride myself in having easy going children, who have fun and don't take life too seriously.

I read a quote that a friend posted on Facebook today and it was so appropriate... "Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do." 

Parenting is hard, I feel so very fortunate that I have found so many wonderful friends that are embracing this difficult job with me, that understand exactly what I am going through, who can laugh with me and cry with me.  It is because of them that I can laugh about the fact that I am a "Sweet Home Alabama" cliche and have "my baby in a bar."

On a sidenote... the Bar, that I took my children to had high chairs and a kids menu.  Ok, I feel better!

No More Bedtime Battles

It still amazes me that as easy as a child Stella was about going to bed as a baby, she turned into such a monster over the last year about bedtime.  I do take A LOT of the blame for creating the beast, pregnacy does terrible things to your reasoning.  I mean desperate times call for desperate measures.  I am slightly embarrased to say, but at our worst, we had a child that would run out of her room, screaming as if she had been possesed by the devil.  I was to the point that I hated bedtime, I could feel myself getting anzious around 5:00 each day, knowing that bedtime would be coming in three hours.  It was bad!  We then gave in and just let her fall asleep in our bed, oh then it got to the point where we would all go to bed together... at 8 o'clock.  Not my proudest parenting moment.

We spent the month of June back in Illinois and I knew when we got home it was time to make a change.  Stella was starting school in August and she needed to go to bed, by herself, in her own room, like a big girl.  Everyone I talked to suggested using a sticker chart with her and create a bedtime routine, so that is what we did.  Auntie Alison also suggested that not only can Stella gain stickers, but she can also loose them.  Her reasoning was that we don't want to be able to pick and choose what days she goes to bed like she wants to... she needs to do it consistently.  I completely agreed.

On June 30th, we started Stella's new bedtime routine and her sticker chart.  And on August 23rd Miss Stella finally earned her 14th sticker and her baby doll tent.

Bedtime is now a peaceful experience in our house :-)  Stella goes to bed happy and that makes us happy too.  Our next step is to get her to stay in her bed all night, instead of ending up in ours.  Once Stella's room gets put back together, we will begin her new sticker chart for staying in bed all night.  Her next goal... A fish?

Jail Break...

It was bound to happen, I really don't know why I am surprised.  But I have to admit, I think my worst fear came true yesterday... Briggs climbed out of his crib.  I know, there are many worse things that I should fear, but seriously the moment I realized it happened, a panic took over.

You see, on Monday, I started teaching online again.  It's nothing crazy, just a couple hours a day while the kids are taking a nap.  I knew when I signed up for it, that the logistics might be a little tricky, but I was more concerned about how it would work with Stella.  Never did I think that Brigg would throw a kink in the wrench.

I was downstairs working when all of a sudden I heard the pitter-patter of little feet upstairs.  I walked up the stair getting ready to tell "Stella Marie" to get back in bed.  But when I opened my mouth it wasn't Stella who turned around but a little boy who was oh-so very proud of himself.  For that split-second, I prayed that it was a fluke that he had climbed out of his crib.  Oh so gracefully and quietly that he didn't make a sound and get hurt.  And then proceeded to open his door and explore the house.

Because I knew that it was just a fluke, it had to be, I picked him up and put him back in his crib.  I walked out of his room, shut the door, and counted.  Well actually, I prayed and counted.  THIRTY-TWO seconds later, the bedroom door opened and I was greeted by the most adorable, smiling face.  Nope, not a fluke, my fifteen month, one week, and one day old little boy has figured out how to break free... NOT okay!

Daddy and I decided that our best option, for now, was to take the springs off that hold his mattress up and essentially lay his mattress on the floor.  Right now it is working, but we know it will probably only buy us another week of two of time.  I guess in the mean time we might need to start shopping for a toddler bed.

  

Stella gets the Sharing Bag

When I picked Stella up from school on Tuesday, she was so excited because she had gotten to be the "class helper" for the day.  Apparently that is "VERY, VERY" important.  When I asked her what the class helper gets to do, she wispered, "I got to turn off the lights."  Well, that is a very important job. 

Along with getting to turn off the lights, the class helper also gets to bring home the Sharing Bag.  The student with the Sharing bag gets to pick out one or two of their favorite toys to bring back to school and share with their friends.  Stella could barely contain herself on the car ride home trying to decide what she was going to bring to share with her friends.

Stella decided to take Minnie and Alphie to share with her friends.

Filling the Sharing bag

Briggs thought he would help.  Stella was not thinking that was a good idea.

Briggs - 15 months

15 MONTHS... 

I can not believe he is 15 months already!! 

It seems like overnight my little man has gone from this...

To this...

A climber!!  This boy climbs on everything. 

 When I took him to his well visit appointment yesterday and the doctor asked how things were going and my response was, "Well, we've made it to fifteen months without his first set of stitches.  So I think it's been a success."  And I meant it. 

Briggs is all boy... he is busy, he is loud, and he is hungry (ALL THE TIME).  But he has a smile that will light a room. 

I would like to say that I am his favorite person, but I know that would be a lie.  He loves his sister!!  For the longest time I thought he was saying Dadda all the time, but I discovered it was Stella.  And she loves him just much.  They play so well together, they wrestle, play hide-and-seek, babies and so much more.  I only hope this lasts forever.

"Biggs" we love you to the moon and back!!

15 month stats:

Weight: 24.5 lbs (75%)

Height 32 in (75%)

Words: Momma, Dadda, Stella and Ma(Milk)

Signs: Eat, All Done, and More

Sleeps:  12+ hours and has gone down to one nap.

First Day of Preschool

Last week, Stella started her first day of preschool at Chandler Christian Church's Kid's Discovery Club.  She is going on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:00 to 11:30 am.  We met her teacher, Mrs. Delongchamp, on Monday morning at orientation and then she had her first day of school on Tuesday.  Stella has been really excited so far about getting up and going to school.  She loves coming home and showing us what she made and teaching us her new songs.  She says she has made lots of new friends, but doesn't know their names... we are working on remembering to ask.  This month's theme is colors so they have to wear a specific color each day.  It has made deciding on school clothes so easy :o)  I am so exited to see what this year has in store for Miss Stella!!

One Year...

It has been one year, to the day, since I have posted my last blog.  And to say that a lot can change within a year is a complete understatement.  For I believe in this past year, life as I know it has changed more than any other.  On one hand, it's crazy for me to think that it has been that long since I have sat down at a computer to document what was going on in our lives.  But on the other, I know why I didn't post... because maybe if I didn't write about this year, maybe everything that was going on really wasn't happening and we could just start over.  However, while I was living in a blur, praying I could just have my life back, life was happening around me.

To recap, a year ago we closed on our new house.  We packed and moved our babies to our "forever" home, well unleast until we downsize.  I was adjusting to not going to back work and being a stay-at-home mom, and I can tell you that was a bit of an adjustment.  It is not that I don't love staying at home with my children, it is just a lot of work and very little to no time to yourself.  But I can tell you that although it took me a bit of time to get to this point, I can honestly say that I truly love it and know without a doubt this is what I am meant to do.

Around the same time of moving into our home, as a family, we were still helping mom recover from her stroke and helping dad decide what was his best option in getting out of the milk route, in order to get the much needed surgeries that he needed to alevate all of the pain he was in.

In October, Dad sold his route and was scheduled to undergo his first of surgery, a hip replacement.  Mom was doing so much better, her speech had improved and she was back to work.  I  kept saying over and over, how the worst was behind us and it was just going to get better from here :-)
Then came the news that forever changed our lives... Mom had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  I remember saying to Brian, the night we found out, that our lives would never again be the same.  At that is absolutely true, from that day our lives have been different.  Not only because we are constantly praying that mom will be okay, or that we will find that magical cure for her, but because life has been put into a whole new perspective.  Little things that would have bothered me in the past, I now know are really not that big of a deal.  The time we spend together is so much more important and valued.  I even appreciate my mom's unsolicited parenting advice way more than I ever did before.  Simply put, life is not the same... but sometimes different is better.

This year I have discovered that I am so much stronger than I ever thought I could be.  I've learned that my father is the best caretaker my mother could possibly have and although I knew this before, I was reminded how much of a fighter my mother is. But most of all, I discovered what an amazing relationship I have with my brother and SIL. Living so far away from home has been hard, but they have become my lifeline...  not only for information, but emotional support.

For me, I feel this year has been spent waiting... waiting to find out what the plan is to make mom better, waiting for the next scan to see if the current course of treatment worked, but most of all waiting to wake up and find out this has just been a dream. But what I have realized is that waiting isn't going to make me happy or mom better, living is going to do those things.  So this year, I'm going to love living the life that I have, pray and BELIEVE mom will get better, soak up every moment, and be the absolute best mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend I can possibly be!!